My Boss's Daughter (2003) is the Worst Movie We've Ever Seen

TRIGGER WARNING: Right off the top, this episode touches on extremely sensitive and offensive themes presented in the movie that may be triggering to listeners. These include: overt and deeply harmful instances of racism, sexism, ableism, approval of rape culture and domestic violence, homophobia, sexual assault, transphobia, and just about any other form of bigotry you can imagine. Plus, there are mentions of blood and gore, bodily fluids, drugs, alcohol, and physical abuse. The blog goes into fewer details, but listen with your own mental health in mind.

My Boss’s Daughter, huh?  

There’s nothing we can say in this blog that hasn’t been covered by reviews that are over a decade old—but we did this podcast anyway! 

My Boss’s Daughter is, without a doubt, the worst movie I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing (though Olivia still gives that honor to Leprechaun 2). If you’re in a hurry, we’ll sum it up with Nell Minow’s review from 2010: “Kutcher comedy is crude, offensive, and all-around bad.” If not… well, we warned you. 

What’s it about?

Not much! It acts as an excuse for Ashton Kutcher to stumble around for an hour and fifteen minutes while the script checks off its “Offensive Joke Bingo” card. 

Ostensibly, it’s about a run-of-the-mill dude named Tom Stansfield who is three things: obsessed with his horrible boss’s daughter, desperate to become his publishing house’s creative lead, and inept at everything he touches. He’s manipulated into house sitting for aforementioned horrible boss, and the rest of the movie is unbearably contrived garbage ranging from “coked-up owl named OJ escapes and chases white women in the background” to “drug dealer who pisses all over the living room for five minutes gets drugged and buried alive.” It’s scene after scene of the most insufferable characters ever devised doing the most frustrating things possible with zero payout by the end. The climax of the film is Ashton exposing his boss’s bare ass to a room containing the entire cast. I wish I was kidding.

This movie is unapologetically racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist as its main source of “comedy,” and when it’s taking a break from those things, it taps into its ample supply of gross outs (bodily fluids, sexual assault, and graphic violence galore). 

Is there anything redeeming about it?

Nope! Not a moment of it was funny or charming. The only chuckle it forced out of me was a one-off line that was so benignly ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone involved with this movie should be embarrassed, from crew to cast. I like Molly Shannon less as a person now that I’ve seen this movie. My best advice to anyone reading is: avoid this movie like the plague. Your brain will be better for it.

That’s pretty definitive

There’s really nothing left to say. The less I can talk about this atrocity, the better. It makes me angry to think about. I’ll never get that hour and a half back. Ashton Kutcher owes me restitution.